Virgin Teen

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There are no heart-to-hearts in The Virgin Suicides, no Breakfast Club-esque debunking of high school stereotypes. Instead it's about teenagers who have only ideas of each other to think about, and just from a distance, because talking to people you like is scary and hormones suck and parents get suspicious. The boys crush on the girls, we think the girls crush on the boys, and then the girls kill themselves so we'll never know for sure.

If there's any teen bonding experience in this book, it exists in all the small gestures acting as placeholders for what its characters wish they could say. Notes left in bicycle wheels, code transmitted through a window with a light, records played over the telephone. The Virgin Suicides is my favorite teen romance of all time, either in spite or because of the fact that the characters never really talk to one another.

When I first read this book, I didn't feel like a teenager. Now, at 16, despite writing about being a teenager, editing a website about being a teenager and publishing a book about being a teenager, I still don't feel like a teenager. When I look back on my adolescence so far, my memories consist primarily of events that never took place, stories imagined from the music and movies and books I've pored over alone in my room, hopes I've had that never quite panned out but which are as vivid in my mind as any real experience. I was sure that I was doing it wrong.

I reread The Virgin Suicides once a year, and each time I come closer to accepting the possibility that maybe that's what adolescence is. Not making out with Trip Fontaine under the bleachers or losing your virginity at the school dance or jumping out a bedroom window after dramatically proclaiming love to an almost perfect stranger. But that disconnect, that yearning, just waiting itself.

Harvard researcher Janet Rosenbaum found that virginity-pledge programs have a high dropout rate. She studied the responses of 13,568 participants, ages 12 to 18, from a 1995 national survey and compared them with a follow-up study a year later.

Vintage is definitely back, and odds are teens will be interested in digging through the racks to find that perfect band t-shirt or statement item of clothing. The trendy Hayes Valley neighbourhood is a pilgrimage site for those seeking prime thrift shopping.

The Centers for Disease Control last month released a study showing a dramatic drop in the proportion of teenagers having sex. In 1988, 60 percent of never-married young men 15 to 19 years old reported that they had had sexual intercourse; today that figure is just 42 percent. What happened Are more boys saving themselves for marriage Have they discovered religion You can read the full text of the CDC report, all 44 pages, at www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_031.pdf. But you won't find the answer there.

The reporting on this issue so far has been disappointing. The usual suspects have made conjectures which are far off the mark. The New York Times parenting blog suggested that maybe the actual rate hasn't changed that much; maybe kids today are just more modest, more demure, and less willing to talk about such things. Huh Kids today are more modest than 20 years ago What planet are we talking about Here's the link to the NY Times parenting blog: -teens-really-having-less-sex/.

When John Belushi starred in Animal House in 1978, critics variously called the movie raunchy, offensive, and hysterically funny. Today it seems merely quaint. The popular culture of American teenagers has shifted significantly over the past three decades. John Belushi burping and crushing a beer can against his forehead wouldn't shock anybody today, in the era of Superbad, Jackass 3, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

I have visited more than 200 schools across the United States. I have talked with kids in cities, in suburbs, and in rural areas. I think I know why fewer teens are having sexual intercourse compared with 20+ years ago. It's pretty simple. Oral sex is displacing old-fashioned penile-vaginal intercourse. The CDC report concerned only penile-vaginal intercourse. The CDC interviewers did not mention oral sex, except to make sure that each teen understood that the interviewer was asking about vaginal intercourse, not oral sex.

Reason #2 is the explosion in the availability of pornography. In 1990, many 16-year-olds had never seen a photo of a couple having oral sex. Today, any 13-year-old can type the word \"oral\" in any browser and, willy-nilly, links to free videos of oral sex will pop up. Children and teens look to adults for guidance about what grown-ups do. Today, many kids are looking to the Internet. Oral sex is ubiquitous in pornography, and pornography is everywhere on the Web.

Why is pornography harmful for teenagers Because it turns a person into an object. Because it presents an unrealistic portrayal of sex. Because it invites comparison of the real girl in the bedroom with the porn star wearing lingerie. I emphasize that I am NOT against pornography for adults. If you and your partner like to look at pornography, great. If you and your partner like to drink Tequila, that's great too. Just because Tequila is OK for adults doesn't mean it's OK for 14-year-olds. Just because pornography is great for some grown-ups doesn't mean it's OK for 14-year-olds.

Common gossip says that youngsters are engaging in sexual intercourse earlier these days than they used to, but there has been precious little statistical evidence to back it up. Now Johns Hopkins Demographers Melvin Zelnik and John Kantner have come up with some firm data. After studying the sexual habits of unmarried teen-age girls, they announced last week that virginity is indeed outmoded. If the study sample is representative, almost half of all single American girls become non-virgins before they are 20.

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The current crop of teen pop phenoms is larger than ever, and music-industry players are frantically trying to find the next one before a competitor does. Or they're creating them, Monkees- and Partridge Family-style, as a product to serve an already-eager market. The group O-Town actually was formed and honed as the subject of an ABC/MTV television show, \"Making the Band.\"

The independent label Jive Records, the nucleus of the teen pop universe, has Britney Spears, 'N Sync, and the Backstreet Boys. Each had discs on last year's Top 10 best-selling albums list, and Spears intends to do it again with Tuesday's release of \"Britney,\" her third album in three years. \"Everyone's expecting it to [sell] well into seven figures,\" says Ray Cooper, co-president of Virgin Records of America and the man who discovered the Spice Girls. That's 1 million-plus copies - in one week.

Mr. Stein, who is also president of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation, adds, \"If you look at who the biggest artists have been from the dawn of rock 'n' roll, a lot of them, when they started out, were teen idols. Elvis Presley, the Beatles ... the Rolling Stones, certainly Pat Boone, Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5, Ricky Nelson ... Madonna.\"

They see themselves as actors, or even talk-show hosts; they've been Mickey Mouse Club-trained pros since about 8, he observes. Already the teen queen of MTV videos and Pepsi spots, Spears makes her film debut in \"Crossroads\" next year (critics say they're hoping she's a better actress than Madonna). 'N Sync's Lance Bass just released his film \"On the Line,\" and bandmate Justin Timberlake has his own clothing line.

\"It's not coming out of that 'let's form a band in the garage' kind of aspect,\" music critic Browne explains, observing that today's teen artists are more savvy about packaging and marketing themselves and about how the \"more polished and much better oiled\" music industry of today works.

That, Browne says, is the attitude that could fast-forward the demise of this teen-pop wave. \"I think what's gonna end this genre isn't getting old,\" he says. It's the superstars' tendency to complain musically about the hardships of fame. Fans don't like hearing sob stories from people who seem to be on top of the world, Browne notes, adding, \"Stardom angst ... has never really gone over well.\"

Browne says young teens now are talking about aggressive pop-punk bands Blink 182, Fenix*TX and their clones - the antithesis of sugar-pop. He also notes, \"The success of people like David Gray and Dido indicates that there's an audience that's either outgrowing teen music or that is searching for something new and sensitive and thoughtful.\"

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